The Shepherd

 This is an account of an extraordinary event that happened with my dad and I shortly before he died. His earthly birthday is coming up in a few days.

Early Wednesday morning, around 3:00 a.m., I experienced the most spiritual, most awe-inspiring event I have ever had in my entire life.  My dad was resting peacefully, not necessarily asleep, but just lying there as I sat next to him.

As I sat there beside him, just the two of us, I found myself quoting all sorts of Bible verses and words to favorite hymns to myself. I said many prayers  throughout the night. It occurred to me that night that it is probably a good thing that Christians memorize so many verses of scriptures so we have them available when we need them. Years of Sunday School prepared me for the moment when I would sit by my dad's bedside and recite them to myself.

At one point, I looked at him, wondering what he was thinking about and if he was worried about dying.  It was such a major step and I could not relate to it, though I was curious about his thoughts if he had some. Daddy was still and quiet, but mostly seemed awake. He had not spoken for hours but the quiet was peaceful, as if being there together was enough. Even though it was in a way I did not fully understand, I knew that somehow, he was preparing for death. Knowing it was what he needed to do, I was very grateful that God was with him, guiding him along the way. 

Then, I remember praying to God, thanking Him for this presence, requesting His continued help for both of us as we faced this time. Throughout his journey with cancer, I had prayed that God be merciful. One of my prayers was thanking Him that this had been done, that my father had not suffered as much as many others had done. As I continued to wonder what was going through my dad's mind, if anything, I found myself praying the 23rd Psalm. 

The Lord is my Shepherd... This was THOUGHT to myself, not said out loud

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for Thou art with me

This really was not one of my favorite verses, so don't know why it even came into my head, but the words were just placed there, a comfort from God as I needed it. 

I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. 

The words made sense in a way that they never had before. It was extremely comforting that God is our Shepherd, that He would be with us at the toughest times of our life. The words were not new, but the insight was.Then, as I reached the end of the scripture in my thoughts, as plain as anything, Daddy turned to me, smiled, and then said very clearly and quietly, “Shepherd.”

I was stunned, absolutely, positively, stunned. Throughout my recitation of the scripture, my prayer, I didn't say it out loud - he somehow heard or sensed my prayer and  responded to it through some level of spiritual awareness. It was at once an awe-inspiring and humbling moment.

My thoughts had been silent yet somehow my father had heard me. When I told the chaplain later, he told me that near the end, he thought that patients may be a part of both worlds, especially when concerning spiritual matters. He'd actually seen people hear prayers said in other rooms and comment on them. 

God was certainly with us in the room that night as I prayed. I was blessed beyond words by the connection my dad and I shared.  It was amazing that he had heard my prayer, whether heard, sensed, or however it was done. It was also remarkable that Daddy had spoken so clearly, with such awareness, after hours of seeming to be absorbed in another world we did not know.

An excerpt from the chapter called "Going Home,"  from the book,  "The Valley of the Shadow."  

Click here for more information about the book. 

 The Valley of the Shadow